What’s the most typical cannabis business name you can imagine?

Simply Pure dispensary in Highlands. (Chloe Aiello/Denverite)

Marijuana Business Daily has an interesting bit of data analysis this week. They’ve crunched through all the cannabis businesses in their listings and spit out the most common words for both growers’ and sellers’ names.

The top word choices were, in descending order of popularity: Green, cannabis, farm, center, wellness and garden, according to MBD’s data.

If you’re a seller, the prototypical name might be something like “Green Leaf Cannabis Herbal Wellness Center,” according to MBD’s data.

For a producer, it might be “Green Bud Natural High Farm Care Garden.”

Conspicuously missing, as MBD reports, are the slang terms associated with pot. Business owners want to sell pot as a wellness product, so they’re rejecting traditional drug culture.

That’s why I’m going to cut against the grain and call my new dispensary “Kingpin Kenney’s Federally Illegal and Probably Still Unhealthy Drug Bazaar for Stoners Only.”

Tweet or email me with your own suggestions.

Andrew Kenney

Author: Andrew Kenney

Andrew Kenney writes about public spaces, Denver phenomena and whatever else. He previously worked for six years as a reporter at The News & Observer in Raleigh, N.C. His most prized possession is his collection of bizarre voicemail. Leave him one at 303-502-2803, or email akenney@denverite.com.